It has been a beautiful clear Sunday down here in Brighton, the sky a majestic blue colour unblemished by even a single cloud and whilst it was cold it wasn't bitterly so. Perfect for an energetic stroll along the promenade and around the port at Shoreham. The waves of the English Channel broke over the beach with a gentle and comforting sploushh and all my cares and woes melted away. I must admit that I have been feeling a touch anxious over the last few days, we’re getting closer to the date for my GFR and Renogram examinations and whist I'm not worried at all about the actual tests themselves, I am about the results, I just hope they are ok, that my kidneys are in a good enough shape for one of them to be snipped out for someone else to have. I suppose that sort of feeling is normal, many donors probably go through exactly the same thought process, you know, we've read up about the tests themselves, so we have a clear understanding of what they entail and all that, in fact so much so that the only unknown quantity is the results!
It is a little odd this sort of worry or concern, you see for once in my selfish life I'm not worried or concerned about the results for myself, but for someone else, some unknown stranger. To be honest I'm not at all bothered about my glomerular filtration rate or indeed what size and shape my little kidneys are in, it matters not a jot to me on a personal level honestly, but it does to that unknown stranger, that person who will eventually get one of them, well without wishing to be melodramatic about it, but to them the results of my tests could be the difference between life and death! Now that I've written that down I know it might sound a little silly, you know to be so worried about someone you've never met or ever likely to meet, but I guess that’s all part of this whole donation journey. Although I have to say that I suppose this is one of those unusual benefits of altruistic donation, the fact I don’t know who my kidney is going to go to, for if I did, such worries and concerns would multiply by at least a hundred and that must be hell to cope with. Especially as all the tests seem to take a long time in coming around, on average one every fortnight, therefore such a wait must be agonising if you’re watching a loved one slowly get sicker day by day. Hence, I suppose upon reflection, I should be really grateful that I don’t have that sort of added anguish or concern, I should just be content it’s all ticking along and so far all the tests have been good and each one is one step further along this journey, I just wish it would go a little blooming faster!
2 comments:
Hello Jay, I'm 13 weeks post donation. I too found the process very frustrating, but stick with it!
Hi Tracey,
Thanks for the comment, what did you find the most frustrating part of the process? So far for me it's the whole waiting time between appointments and such like.
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